Contentment

After we lost our second baby to miscarriage and less than a year later suffered the excruciating loss of my brother Stephen, I never really thought I'd reach a point of true contentment. I knew that happiness is more a state of mind than a state of being. But with such heartache, one tends to want to wallow in it...find companionship in the sorrow...WITH sorrow. And in those moments it is hard to see oneself outside of it. I had defined myself by my loss. But somewhere...at some moment, God must have trickled in because I don't remember making any conscience decision to move forward. It just sort of happened. And with that came peace...smiles...and HAPPINESS.

I can say that I am truly truly content with my life.

The pain and heartache will never go away. I will never stop missing them. I will never stop loving them. And there will never be a day that passes where I don't think of them. But I can be happy. I can be content.

I AM.